Snooki Defends Her Honor: I’m Not A “Lindsay Lohan Wannabe”

You tell’em, BB!
Yesterday, Snooki stood in front of a New Jersey judge just as Nicole Polizzi, charged with being criminally annoying, among many other things. The judge took his opportunity to lay into the reality star, calling her everything from “rude and obnoxious” to degrading herself by being a “Lindsay Lohan wannabe.”
Today, Snooki is commenting […]

Salt & Pepper Vs. Ben Affleck’s Hair

It appears that the “salt & pepper” look is beginning to win the battle against Ben Affleck’s dark hair, and that’s okay.
Affleck gave us a taste of his graying hair yesterday at the Venice Film Festival, where he was promoting his film The Town.
We think the “salt & pepper” look suits you, Ben. If you’d […]

Democratic ‘Centrists’ Want All Rich-People Tax Cuts Extended [Tax Cuts]

The Democrats will need complete party cohesion to pass Barack Obama’s extension of all Bush tax cuts except those for the top two income brackets. But now, predictably, Sen. Ben Nelson and other Democratic “centrists” are voicing their bullshit opposition. More »

James Franco Thinks We’re All Idiots [Insults]

In a new profile of the greasy-haired renaissance man in The Advocate, actor turned academic and author James Franco talks about his literary ambitions (he has a short story collection coming out soon) and addresses the haters. Namely, us. More »

Google’s Utterly Mental Signing Bonuses [Cubicle Culture]

Google is paying some people around half a million dollars not to go to Facebook, a senior Facebook engineer has confirmed. Googlers, prepare to get spoiled and entitled again, recession be damned. More »

Koran-Burning Church Gets Website Pulled By Rackspace [Hosting]

So! That church that wants to burn the Koran this weekend, Dove World Outreach Center? While we can’t make them disappear altogether, they’ve at least been taken off the internet by their web host, Rackspace. More »

Gawker.TV: The Five Best Videos Ever of the Day [Clipjob]

Today at Gawker.TV, Danielle Staub tells the Early Show she’s ready to fly solo, Joe Biden appeared on the Colbert Report, Tyra Banks‘ ANTM is back, and apparently Elijah Wood was the DJ at Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin’s wedding. More »

They Repaint the Car Every Time She Changes Her Lipstick [Open Caption]

[Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman go for a cruise in their Ferrari in Beverly Hills. Image via INF.] More »

Happiness Is Just $163,500 Away [Recessionomics]

The Way We Live Now: spreading fitfully. Moving warily. Gazing wistfully. Charging droopily. It would be an overstatement to say that good times are here; nevertheless, we can safely say that bad times are… somewhere. Here? That wouldn’t be good. More »

Out-of-Control Justin Bieber Hurls Water Balloons at Police Officers [Crime]

Dangerously unpredictable manufactured pop sensation Justin Bieber was “horsing around” with some friends before a concert when he threw two water balloons at Maryland State Troopers, one of which burst. Biebs, assaulting a police officer is a felony! More »

Security Agencies Everywhere Worried About Koran-Burning Retaliation [Threats]

The FBI, Interpol, State and Defense Departments, and various foreign governments are on high alert over global threats posed by that stupid Koran-burning church. The FBI’s even worried that Islamic extremists might “disrupt” the Koran BBQ itself. Ugh. [Image: AP] More »

Why Overheard Cellphone Conversations Are More Annoying Than Normal Ones [Science]

Scientists have definitively proved that overhearing a cellphone conversation is more distracting than overhearing a normal conversation. It’s because you only hear a “half-a-logue,” which is less predictable and therefore requires more mental power to parse and ignore. More »

Keanu Reeves Will Never Have to Act in Another Movie for the Rest of His Life [Trade Roundup]

After he does this one movie, that’s it. It can never get better. Also today: Natalie Portman might be shot into space and left there, TV actresses get TV deals, Joan Holloway gets a new assignment, and nerd news. More »

Facebook CEO’s Secret Frat Name Has Been Revealed [Shut Up, College]

Before he dropped out of Harvard to build Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg was an officer at the Jewish fraternity Alpha Epsilon Pi, where the scrawny young computer geek had a ferocious nickname, according to a classmate. More »

Steve Jobs Releases His 10 Commandments [Censorship]

Steve Jobs released rules, apparently in his own words, outlining creative correctness in Apple’s App Store. The Apple CEO’s “guidelines” are arbitrary, prudish and almost comically despotic. But at least now they’re written down and exposed to public scrutiny. More »

Spotted: NYT, In Our Bag of Tricks [Stalker]

The New York Times prints readers’ celebrity sightings. Congrats on inventing this new thing! More »

Americans Are Not the Most Generous People in the World [Charity]

The Gallup World Giving Index ranked the world’s countries by how generous they are. The fat, rich, spoiled United States of America came in fifth. Fifth! It’s a national shame! So who’s first? More »

U.S. Soldiers Charged With Killing Civilians ‘For Sport’ [War]

A dozen American soldiers in Afghanistan are being charged in connection with an alleged string of murders of Afghani civilians “for sport.” Investigators say the soldiers killed random civilians, and took their fingers as souvenirs. More »

Britney Spears Rebuts Creepy Child Abuse Claim [Rebuttals]

Britney hasn’t exactly denied her bodyguard’s claim that she had sex in front of her sons, beat them, and poisoned them. Instead, she issued a statement noting Children’s Services investigated her, but didn’t take away her kids. So there! [BritneySpears.com] More »

The Craziest Political Speech You’ll See This Fall [Video]

Stark County, Ohio’s GOP picked its nominee for treasurer last night! You knew that, sure, but here’s the meeting’s highlight anyway: terrifying candidate Phil Davison screaming, pacing, and half-crying in the most insane stump speech ever. He lost! Clip below. More »